This may be a bit juvenile, but perhaps our most profound moments come when we think like a child. Yesterday, as I was walking to my car, I might have had a handful of Peanut Butter M&M's that I was sorting through. When I say sorting through, I mean, making sure there are an even amount of each color, and then eating them in order of which color I like least and of course saving the best for last. (Don't get distracted by my OCD tendencies in this story) Well, if you know me at all, you know I don't eat the brown M&M's (GROSS!) so they weren't even in the mix. I ate orange first, and then blue, then yellow, leaving me with the dilemma of choosing between red or green. Traditionally, green is my favorite color (at least when it comes to M&M's). However, I spent a little more time thinking about the colors than I usually would and decided that I should decide based on how each color makes me feel. After a moment of reflection, I decided green makes me feel happy, but red makes me feel good.
I hope you all aren't completely lost already, because here comes the connection. I started thinking about what I really want to feel in my life. Do I want to feel happy? Or, do I want to feel good? It didn't take me long to decide that while happiness is nice and always welcomed, if I don't feel good first, then what is the point?
Oddly enough (or perhaps not), my thoughts immediately went to Slut and whether or not he makes me feel happy or good. Without hesitation, I decided that he makes me feel happy. Sure, there are moments when he makes me feel good, but overall, only happy.
Today, this theory was confirmed when I received a text from Slut saying "Hey, u two wanna do dinner? Tobin? Kelli? I had plans but they fell thru!" Tell me this... why did he feel the need to add that last sentence? Seriously? Was he trying to rub it in that I am just a backup plan? Okay, probably not, he probably wasn't at all conscious of what he was saying. Either way, it didn't make me feel good. Furthermore, the line "I have two to-do list, and you are on both of them. Everything else is crossed off so now I am calling you" started playing through my head over and over again.
Conclusion: I want a man, I want friends, I want a family, I want a career, and I want a life that makes me feel not just happy, but GOOD (or great, I'll take either).
Oh, and I saved the red M&M for last and it was completely satisfying.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The colors of life, love, and happiness...
Posted by theEnforcer at 7:12 PM
Labels: Because I'm worth it.
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4 comments:
not gonna lie, i got worried that i was about to engage in the stroop test...
optical illusions set aside, that sounds pretty 25 of you. you ARE worth it. and your post makes me feel good.
go with your convictions. i'm honored to walk alongside you in this. as i've been in the habit of saying recently...'ata girl! ;)
one more thing: j-lo ONLY eats the brown m&ms in the wedding planner. because it's the one that looks most like real chocolate.
i am loving all this talk of liberation lately! i'm just gonna say it because it's true... we are amazing.
we are women... hear us roar!
I am going to be so bold as to say this is my favorite post thus far. Not only was it aesthetically pleasing but this was GOOD for my soul. Pitch, your right. She is indeed a beautiful 25.
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