Where did the good (thoughts) go?

Ladies, we are dropping the ball!!! Surely we haven't run out of all our good thoughts. I know, I know, school's busy right now, as is life, but we are doing the world a disservice by not sharing our thoughts! I hereby commit to a post on jadedness, forgiveness, and match.com within the next week. Hold me to it! And I hope to hear your thoughts too!

the longest preface for song lyrics.

theology students (and admittedly, fellow sis-ers) have nothing on this preface! enjoy.

it’s an honor to live among such avid fans of music: new bands, gripping lyrics, sweet guitar solos…all of it and more, i’m sure. but here’s a tiny contention: i hardly connect with similar experiences–in fact, the extent of my lyrical absorption came by way of delilah after dark. in other words, gloria estefan, madonna, whitney houston, and similar cheesy music that falls under the ’soft rock’ genre. if you want to know if your heart will go on, my girl celine and i have your back (because my diva mentor mariah told me a hero lies in you). in my defense, i may be able to hold my own on smokey robinson, the drifters and maybe even a little bill withers. sadly, however, i don’t keep company with too many men twenty-five years my senior. i trust that they would appreciate my style.
but i digress.

as much as i love my friends vast musical knowledge, i must admit an occasional level of embarrassment. sometimes a certain pretentiousness of one’s knowledge of the best bands creeps into conversation and i am left with nothing to show for myself save for destiny child’s Writings on the Wall album (or at best fergie’s contribution with The Duchess).

quick disclaimer: the aforementioned pretentiousness does not occur on a regular basis, and this is not directed to one person; simply this–sometimes i feel not only deficient in my musical repertoire, but moreso deficient as a human for such ignorance.

my defensive response with these conversations is something akin to childhood recess conversation. “you beat mikey at foursquare? well i made a better paper mache valentine than cindy.” what cindy and paper mache have anything to do with mikey or foursquare, i have no idea. the point is, i look for something else at which i can prove myself superior.

disclaimer #2: my childhood–more specifically recess–did not include anyone by the names of mikey or cindy. again, this is not directed at anyone in particular.

my go-to conversation shifter (aka, compensating for gloria and celine) is the tried and true “how ’bout them ______(insert nearest pro team here).” if that doesn’t work, something about baking/cooking. and if all else fails, i’ll just walk away. i’ve had an iPhone for a few months now, and before then a blackberry. those work well, too. at the end of the day, what i want is simply the pretentiousness that is engendered though knowing something more than what mikey AND cindy know.

here’s the thing: i love pop music. quite unapologetically in fact. so please do not scoff at me when i sing “i’m not gonna miss you like a child misses his blanket,” because guess what?
that makes sense.

and you know what? my life would suck without you. so i will ask life’s most pressing existential question: where do broken hearts go? will they find their way home?

p.diddy is missing you…so why can’t i wake up every morning feeling like him?! and finally, even if this song is in fact about you, i’m gonna sing about your apricot scarf and silly gavotte anyway.

so i can’t beat the cindys and mikeys of this world. that’s ok, at least i have my pop music.
and with that, i leave you with today’s gripping lyrics…

still waters, heavy hearts
plans we make all fall apart
disillusioned and lost in the gray
how can we fix the heart when it breaks?
don’t know how much more you can take

just give it time
it’s gonna get better
now is not forever at all
just give it time
everything changes
tomorrow comes today will be gone
everything’s gonna be fine
just give it time, give it time

quiet landslide when nobody knows
regretted decisions that nobody chose
under water and sinking fast
no way out, no way to get back
what might have been is lost in the past

when the world you’re in is still again
and it all fades out
you’ve reached the end, begin again now

everything’s gonna be alright
just give it time

i can get used to this

a two-class schedule, that is. i'm actually reading ALL my assignments and giving substantial input and asking questions in class! granted, the class is on community organizing--aka my projected future. heres and theres.

here's an excerpt from Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block (2008). The chapter is on "shifting the context for community" and the section is called "getting our story about story straight":

There are other kinds of stories that in their telling become a limitation. Limiting stories are personal versions of the past. They are stories about the conclusions we drew from events that happened to us. Other limiting stories are those that are rehearsed or make the point that the future will be a slightly modified continuation of the past out of which the story arose. Stories of this nature place us as victims of events or even fate.

...The decision to tell those stories over and over again as if they were defining truths creates the limitation against an alternative future...In this way, restoration can be considered the willingness to complete and eliminate the power out of the current story we have of our community and our place in it. This creates an opening to produce a new collective story. A new story based on restorative community. One of possibility, generosity, accountability (35-36).

Hugh saw my hair.

He said it had an "Avril" look. I gave him a weird look. He was awkward. That's all.